Time

What? August already? What am I doing with all my time??

In a blink of an eye, semester will be over, third year will be over. Then all of a sudden I'll be back in Cambodia, back in Siem Reap, back at Anjali and New Hope. I can't even begin to express how I feel about that.

And then I'll be back in Hong Kong for the first time in five years. I bet it'd be like exploring a completely foreign place. One week to make up for five years. Live it up maz.

Then I'll return to Australia on Australia Day. I hope I'll learn something while I'm gone. I hope I come back a different person.

tradition

The great thing about traditions is that it somehow brings together the past, present and future. You'll always be recalling all those times over the past x years you've crashed on that couch, and how you'd realise you're doing exactly the same thing but just in a different beach house this summer, and there's always those moments when you let yourself imagine what you'll be doing differently (or what you would do again) next time.

Traditions also always have an origin story: When somebody has a great idea and the initiative to actually go through with it and you all realise fairly quickly that it's freaking awesome. It's great for bringing people together, and for keeping them together with this collective memory. I was really happy when I learned that Pei remembers getting embarrasingly lost with me the first time we visited Liberty Grove. It was terrible at the time and we missed multiple trains, but hey, it's our memory.

The sky was open tonight again, and on my way home from church I decided to pull over at the look out I always wanted to pull over at, and stargaze. There were lights on the horizon although I don't know where from. Dots of orange, white, and blue that shimmered as if they were projected on water. It was pretty beautiful, but nothing compared to the lights above the horizon. Whenever I look up at a sky like that the scene in Lion King plays in my mind where Timon and Pumba speculate on what stars are. Hilarious.

The stars were perfectly random across the sky, and the longer I stayed out there, the more stars appeared. I went out there to think and figure things out but for a fair amount of time all I could think about was the sheer beauty and magnitude of it all. How distracting. But the cold air was sweet, the grass soft, and the moon bright. And I thought about life and love and why. I thought about God, the universe, and me. And I thought about how it'd be totally awesome if I did this every Tuesday night on my way home from church.

wisdom?

shaz: don't set impossible expectations slash goals for urself
shaz: u'll just fall short and be disappointed
mazmark: but does this mean
mazmark: i dont aim for that?
shaz: not for the impossible
shaz: no
shaz: like.......
shaz: one wise person
shaz: once told me
shaz: and i ahve this quote
shaz: printed
shaz: and like im looking at it right now
shaz: "if u pay attention to the present, you can improve upon it and if u improve on
the present what comes later will also be better"
shaz: btw the wise person was u
shaz: not sure where u got the quote from
shaz: but
shaz: its a good one
shaz: so like..
shaz: live in the present
shaz: be the best person u can be
shaz: in whatever situations
shaz: arise
shaz: on a minute to minute basis

mm that'd be from The Alchemist. Perhaps I need to read that book again.

a sucker for the stars

I am such a sucker for the stars. Well I can never get enough of the sky in all its guises but a starry night sky trumps it all, and if I'm feeling particularly demanding I'll have it with a dash of light cloud and a full moon. I'm both disappointed and pleased that photographs never do the real thing justice.

But I'm always more pleased than disappointed.

wisdom in anger

It feels like a haze that stops you from thinking clearly. The obstruction is so suffocating it seems almost tangible. It takes more effort than it should to hold your tongue and it is oh so tempting to just unload and damn the consequences. Yet silence never equates to inaction and you just hope that your self control is not misunderstood. Then those damning thoughts start persuading you that you're right, that you're entitled, that it's not worth the effort. But some better part of you speaks up, and it gets louder and louder until you fish out your bible and desperately flick to page xii, 'WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS ABOUT...' guidance. But these verses you knew. Page xi, 'WHERE TO FIND HELP WHEN YOU ARE...' angry? anxious? upset?

But surely this is not how you read the word of God. And you close the book, you shut your eyes, and you pray. And then suddenly you think, Wow, you are the all powerful Lord of the universe, yet can I be tempted and troubled by anything less trivial than this?

So you slap yourself, give your head a shake, and remember the two simple commandments upon which depend all the law and the prophets. And for a short time, you are thinking clearly again.

Australia

As of 9th July 2009, 7 out of the top 10 most read articles in smh.com is to do with sport.
4 out of that 7 is on the Ashes.

I love this country.

6 months of piano accompaniment

6 months of piano accompaniment just handed over in fifty, twenty, and ten dollar notes.
I was told it would be painful, but the satisfaction of achieving a long term goal is way way awesome.
=)

If sinners be damned

"If sinners will be damned, at least let them leap to hell over our bodies. And if they will perish, let them perish with our arms around their knees, imploring them to stay. If hell must be filled, at least let it be filled in the teeth of our exertions, and let not one go there unwarned and unprayed for."
- C.H. Spurgeon.